Thread: Funny Jokes, Emails, Etc...

Pffffftttt!!!

CHECK YOUR MAIL

Just wanted to let you know - today I received my 2010 Obama Stimulus
Package. It contained two watermelon seeds, cornbread mix, and 10
coupons to KFC. The directions were in Spanish.

Hope you get yours soon.

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas, who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling Marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time "working girl".

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who is an Obama supporter?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

3 babies in a moms belly are all talking about what they want to be when they grow up....
Baby #1 says....i want to be an electrician, because theres not good lighting in here.
Baby #2 says...i want to be a plumber, because there is to much water in here.
They both turn to baby #3 (who i might add is a little slow) and ask, so elmer, what do you want to be when you grow up
he replied...i want to be a hunter. Hunter the other two replied, what for? Elmer looked up and said...i want to be a hunter and shoot that bald headed beaver that keeps sticking his head in here.

Springerville, I love it! Now if I can just not wake hubby laughin about it.
Welcome to insanity, Springerville,lol. I think you will fit right in with the rest of us nuts,lol.

Well I guess if I have to fit in somewhere......it might as well be here

Fit it in anywhere you'd like.

A blond was picking up a pizza when the server asked her if she would like the pizza cut into 6 or 8 pieces. She said, "I don't think I could eat 8 pieces. Better cut it into 6".

For those of you that voted for change... I miss folding my money!!